We’re at the crossroads, You and I.
Like the back of my hand, I often pay You no mind; I take You for granted.
Unappreciated, underutilized, overlooked – it’s what You’ve come to expect from me.
But, I need You.
And clearly, You need me more than I’ll ever realize.
I’m just a vessel, a medium that You use to communicate with the unseeing, the nameless, the unsettled. Those who are just like me.
Thoughts unreflected, I’m too often affected by Your musings.
Your demands ravage my body, possess my thoughts – when You have something to say, everything else stops.
I live to serve You, knowing that, like me, You’re the servant of a higher master.
How now to heed Your call? What must I sacrifice now to appease You?
I long for harmonious Grace in Your presence, to finally feel at peace with Your ceaseless whispers in my soul.
Lead me, creative spirit, and I shall willingly follow.
When the man you love CONSTANTLY reminds you to eat meals, take breaks, and rest while you’re busy creating another world, you know that he truly loves you.
My Amazon Prime Delivery was supposed to have been delivered between 8 and 10PM. I took this screen shot at 9:57. He actually waited until 9:59 PM.
This is sort of like how Starbucks baristas purposely misspell your name, right?
So, my social media has been blowing up with posts about how this man Blake Shelton can’t have possibly been named People Magazine’s #SexiestManAlive when there are so many jaw-dropingly fabulous handsome male celebrities in the world. They proceeded to list drool-worthy men and went into minute detail about how delicious these men look, et cetera, et cetera, ad nauseam. These posts were from women for whom I have respect and while their comments were amusing, they were also very disturbing.
First of all, what exactly males a man “sexy”? Is it just about his looks, or is it more than that? As a romance novelist, to me, sexiness spans far beyond looking like Adonis, and as a woman, I certainly want to believe that my sexiness is a culmination of many of my admirable traits – not just limited to my looks, but including them. My characters would be painfully one-dimensional if all they could do was walk around the earth looking like a “10” – and have no other desirable traits to speak of.
Secondly, the second half of 2017 has been a whirlwind of women and men who have felt emboldened enough to come forward with accounts of being objectified, reduced, even violated by men in powerful positions. I wonder if People Magazine wanted to focus on a man with minimal controversy surrounding him, and who also has cultivated an approachable, relatively uncomplicated persona. I ask myself if the editors thought that he was a “safe bet”. I know that he isn’t a supermodel, but I’m not offended when I see his face. (I’m personally not attracted to him, but so what?) From what I understand, he is a successful, multitalented man who is known to work towards charitable causes, has a pretty solid fanbase and is happy with his girlfriend. Whether or not you find all of that to be sexy is entirely up to you.
Finally, I also just want to politely point out that people seem to be spending more time talking about BS* than they are about real issues like the above-mentioned, or the new, highly controversial, leaking pipeline, or the passing of the most recent Tax Reform. It amazes me how butt-hurt some intelligent people have become because an entertainment magazine called Blake Shelton* “the sexiest”. We all do realize that this moniker is subjective, right? I mean, if you’re bothered by it, it’s okay. Blake will be fine. The man has his millions, his fame, his girlfriend, and the coveted title – with or without your approval.
I’ve always heard, “Do one thing, and do it well.” This seems to be a common word of advice for those who seek “success” from the greats spanning over centuries. Unfortunately for me, this advice just doesn’t compute; my heart rebels against the supposed logic.
I just can’t understand how so many people view many things as being “either/or” instead of “this and this”. Why in the world do we limit ourselves, especially in this age of mass-consumption? I for one would love to overindulge on the things that make me feel wonderful and happy on this planet, and enable me to bring joy and positivity to others in the process.
For some people, maybe there’s also something satisfying about doing more than one thing simultaneously. Besides, when you look more closely at the biographies of all of these greats, you’ll see that most of the time, only in RETROSPECT does it appear as though they took a linear path to reach the moment when they achieved success.
Believe me, even the greatest had to go through the process of figuring things out. They couldn’t have all been stellar 24/7 throughout their entire lives. No, they had ups and they had downs; they encountered times of doubt and confusion just like all of us. The things that make them stand out are the times when they felt like we often do when we’re not feeling so brilliant. What did the greats do in those times? They persevered. They kept going. Did they know where they were going? Of course not! But they knew where they wanted to be.
Think about it: No one really wants a biography that lasts only a page or two. You want your life to fill an entire book! Every single experience that we have, mistake that we make, or dream that we discover, pursue, and attempt to fulfill is yet another page in our own individual biography.
May every entry that you make be filled with adventure, courage, lessons, and love.
If you’ve been following my blog, you probably know that I’m posting pretty much every Tuesday. You probably also know that I’m running back and forth between a stay-or-go situation. I’d love for this to be the plot of a book, but in this case, it’s my life.
We all know the saying “A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush.” While I’m grateful for the opportunities I have, I also think that holding onto something just because it’s convenient and familiar isn’t always the best or healthiest thing.
What if the bird in your hand is puny? What if it’s not your kind of bird at all? Why stick with the same thing if you know that you’re not receiving the full benefits of your abilities – or your potential?
I think that there’s a time and a place to know when to stick with what you’ve got and when you need to look further.
What kind of plots would romance novels have if they went along the lines of the Bird in the Hand mentality? They’d probably end something like this…
“Connie knew that Ben was an okay kind of guy. There were no sparks, but hey, he was there. Why should she aim for something that may or may not happen – real love? No, Connie had Ben, and she would play it safe. Because he was familiar and convenient, she stayed with him and married him. The end.”
Sorry, folks – unless you’re a literary genius, that’s not likely to be any kind of bestseller. And honestly, I really feel sorry for Ben. He deserves more than someone who “settles” for him. Connie deserves to take a chance at finding happiness.
When it comes to following your passions and seeking fulfillment in all that you do, holding yourself back can’t possibly be the way to go.
Remember when you were small and at one point in your very young life, you knew exactly what you were going to “be”? Well, I remember the day when it happened to me. I was seven years old and quite convinced that I would become a teacher. But are we limited to having just one?
It’s a confusing, humbling experience when you discover your calling. You may stumble upon it, you might have to fight for it, or you just might know what it is years in advance and just expect to fall into it eventually, like I did. One way or another, it just happens.
It’s a much more fragmented, painful process when you realize that a dream, an ideal that you once birthed and have cultivated for years, is dying. What was once vibrant, something that fed your soul while you simultaneously gave your all to anyone willing to accept, is now a shell. It’s hollow and devoid of meaning – not because you’ve stopped giving your all, but because realize that you’re surrounded by takers – black holes that passively drain you of your shimmer, consuming the sacred inner glow that lights up your spirit and inspires you to guide others.
What do you do? How does one cope during this slow painful death? My goal is to let go, let God, and move on.
It’s the kind of magic that only a truly gifted writer can do. Sure, we’re all used to the fairytale set up of boy meets girl, they’re either best friends or they’ve grown up together, and then suddenly, the fateful day arrives when one of them sees the other in an entirely different light, and their world is never the same again.
These stories are beautiful. They make us think of a time when the life that lay before us was full of possibility, and love was this powerful, inevitable force that we were destined to reckon with sooner or later. For whatever reason, the Right Person would likely run into us when we were late running an errand as some grunt in the Big City, or this elusive attractive fellow would keep coincidentally show up everywhere the sweet, but plucky country girl happens to be. And then the magic happens.
But what about the stories for when life has hit the characters in the face with a frying pan, and they’re just making it? I understand the concept of escapism, but wouldn’t it be sort of hilarious and fantastic if a story about two volunteers in a nursing home hit it off? No one is a billionaire, no one is “torn” or “broken”. They’re just folks.
But we really want something special, don’t we? We want to see ourselves, elevated.
It takes a special lense to filter out the grit of everyday life, and embellish our common, unexpressed desires in a way that somehow makes us feel whole as we live vicariously through people who are like us, but are not us.
That, dear readers, is Romance.
So, I just need to put this here for myself more than for anyone else. It’s so strange to move from an age where dreams totally felt like they were just pending goals to be accomplished, to a state of being where reality tries to stab the heart of every dream I desperately hold on to.
Maybe it’s me getting older, or perhaps it’s merely the fact that I’ve always been a “realistic optimist”, but the truth remains – sometimes it’s just too damn hard to see the light at the end of the tunnel. Who knows? Maybe there’s a cave-in or a detour right before you get to the end of it.
Still, my radiant inner child refuses to be laid low; she keeps telling me to BELIEVE. The hope in my heart is worth the struggle, the doubt, confusion, and constantly hearing the pitiful lie that my darkest voice whispers in my thoughts – I’ve let myself and everyone else down by insisting upon following this one persistent dream.
It takes a Herculean effort to squash the doubt and weariness in my heart, to slap yet another “What if…” directly in the face with an “I can do all things through Christ…” reminder. It’s hard to get back up, find motivation and be inspired when your most influential 24/7 365 cheering team member consists only of the person staring back at you in the mirror.
It’s lonely, it’s hard. It’s scary, and it’s inevitable.
Perhaps you know what I mean when I talk about the feeing of compulsion. No matter what the odds are, and even if I stand alone, this is something that I MUST do. It’s the path that I have to take in order to feel as close to fulfillment in this life as I can imagine. So I may as well finally get over being so damn angsty about my life and just be f-ing cool about it. It’s time to wrap this frigging series up; the clock is ticking.
Be cool, baby. Be cool.
Are a special kind of hell.
It’s like they know that no matter what tv channel you’re watching, they will find you. And the worst part is that even if you mute the commercial, it’s still going to play along in your head – word for word, note for note.
They show you no mercy.
Even when I went on an errand this morning, I found myself happily humming to “… I have an annuity, but I need cash now…”. I HADN’T EVEN BEEN WATCHING TV. FFS.
Honestly, if they were to put as much effort into making a song that promotes world peace or encourages general acts of kindness and consideration, and if they played it as often as they play their painfully memorable jingles, the world would definitely be a better place.
Thanks for this gem, Facebook friends…
There’s a time and a place to feel confident about how you express yourself, and then there’s a time to embrace doubt. I think that my time to doubt how I should be expressing myself on pressing subjects is today. It’s not a matter of finding the right words; even the most bumbling celebrities or politicians are able to maneuver their ways through uncomfortable conversations (whether or not they do it successfully is subjective). Today, though, I just question the real power of our words, and the POSITIVE impact that they can make on us collectively. So, full disclosure: this a VENT, a RANT, and has elements of bossy preachiness. But writing this is more of a cathartic process, and I’ve followed my own advice to the best of my ability. Hopefully, I’ll be able to concentrate on happier subjects next week, but I need to get this off of my chest.
As much as we seek and crave escapism (and obviously, as an author, I am a proponent of this), far too many people are leaning heavily on the intricate fabricated lives and worlds of superheroes, lavish ladies, or impeccably handsome billionaire singles to whisk them away from reality. Our real-world problems are getting larger and more brutal – thanks to both nature and humans. Instead of focusing efforts on and bringing attention to the acute needs of real people on Planet Earth (i.e. clean water, food, and medical supplies for victims in Mexico and Puerto Rico and continued support for families in Florida and Texas), many of us are being persuaded to buy the latest generations of iPhones for around $1,000 or more – when our current phone is perfectly fine; or we spend our free time binge-watching whatever, thereby becoming even more disassociated with what’s happening in our world. When is enough enough?
It annoys me to feel the need to clarify that this isn’t a “political post”. This is a post about humanity. If you haven’t got money to spare to help anyone in need (not limited to the above-mentioned; I know that the “world” extends beyond North America and Central America), then please take the time to truly send out some positive vibes to humanity. I know that it’s become a “thing” to mock or even feel offended by those who say that they’re sending “thoughts and prayers” to people who are hurting (like to everyone tragically affected in Las Vegas). To a certain extent, I can certainly understand why. For many, it has become a cliché. For others though, it may not be.
Even if the words seem futile and trite, let those people who believe in their worth hold onto some sibilance of hope and faith. If thoughts and prayers mean nothing to you, then that’s your thing. Be a person of action and dig deep into your pockets and give cash, and/or roll up your sleeves and get to work helping in whatever way you can. For those who are thinking and praying, when you’re finished, get up off of your knees, tithe the best way you can, and help your neighbors world-wide. Regardless of your beliefs or opinions, reach out to others in the real world in a positive way. Offer a smile, or simply say hello to someone passing your way. These are two small ways to reconnect with real people who may feel just as lonely and scared as you might be feeling. Positive communication is the key. If you’ve read this far, then thank you, and much love.
No matter where I’ve been or where I go, you will always be home.
I've teased about this before, dear readers, but I assure you that it's on its way soon!
This e-book will be completely free, and involves characters from my first romantic series (due in 2019). It should be out by the end of this year.
Stay tuned, and I'll keep you posted. ❤