Almost – But Not Quite
First of all, Happy June! It’s hard to believe that we’re already halfway through the year. (No pressure, calendar goal-setters.)
I went for some pretty big things last month – and two out of four times, I didn’t get what I wanted. Granted, on those two occasions where I didn’t get what I wanted, both times I was “close”. To me, being “close” is more aggravating than missing the thing by a long shot.
You’d think I’d be concentrating on the two awesome things that totally went right, but no. That’s not the way we humans are wired. Instead, I’ve kinda brushed off the two victories and moped around focused on the one thing out of the four that I sort of wasn’t sure I wanted in the first place (because it has nothing to do with writing) but went for it anyway… and almost got. It’s the “almost” part that I’m obsessing over.
It’s when you can see your target clear as day. You take a deep breath, aim and shoot – and you miss it by a quarter of an inch. You ask yourself why things went only slightly off-kilter. Was it something you did? Was it the wind? What happened in those last seconds before you let the arrow fly?
Now, you’re at a crossroads. Yes, it feels quite comfortable to mope around for a little while, get some extra confirmation that the ones who “wronged” you are jerks and be reminded by the inevitable cockeyed-optimists that “Rejection is God’s protection”. (In that case, I’m incredibly sheltered, lol.) But what happens after that?
Set a Time Limit for Getting Over Rejection
As for me, I like setting timelines for my pity-parties. I can wallow and mope all I want for that set length of time, and then when that time is up, I can look at the situation from a more pragmatic perspective. After that, I reassess my goals, tweak my strategies, set my targets and go for them – again and again, and again. If I don’t use this method, I can imagine that it could become difficult to emerge from the self-pity cycle. So I don’t give it a chance to stay long.
I think this method worked perfectly for me when I was a performer, and at this stage in my life, I can already see how useful it’s going to be as I start approaching larger, more intimidating entities as I start asking for what I want. Sound crazy? Well, in a way, it is. But, if your goal is really what you want, you’ll do what it takes to get to it. The challenges are simply a means to an end.
What methods do you use to help you stay track towards achieving your goals? What do you do when you reach a setback that distracts you from appreciating the progress you’ve already made? I’d love to hear from you. (I’d also love some ice cream, so send some over. I already have a spoon in my pocket.)
Sending Love and Light to all of you.
©Atina Atwood 2019 Exploring Love and Life, One Word At A Time.™
– Atina Atwood is a southern girl who moved from Europe to the West Coast. A former university professor in Germany and California, Atina stepped away from Academia to focus on her miracle child, life, love, food, quilting, and of course, Romance. She is the author of the Holiday Heartbeats series. Follow her on Twitter for more, and sign up for Atina’s newsletter here.
I write contemporary Romance that often centers around our most joyous occasions – holidays – and the stories tend to have a “clean and wholesome†feel. My books have multicultural main characters that are strong-willed and purpose-driven, and there is always a happily-ever-after (HEA). The stories vary in heat-level, from sweet NA first-love romantic stories to contemporary romances with a dash of suspense and tastefully heated, sensual moments.
I must say I don’t have a method per say. I’m a sporadic creative and so my goals are much the same; goal tracking too. However, I’m working on being more aware of my goals, why I’ve chosen them, and how I can commit myself to them fully to achieve them.
It’s fantastic that you’re becoming more aware of your goal-defining process, Ariana! There’s never one singular method – it’s always about finding what works for you.
It’s so easy to lose track of what we’ve already accomplished in our lives; personally, I think that keeping track of our goals (achieved & in progress) can help us see how far we’ve come from where we began.