Of all the things that we’ve been taught about love, it’s the unspoken things that we end up learning the hard way. If only someone had told us about the beautiful parts – and the kind of gritty parts in between.
Don’t get me wrong; I know that we could go off on a philosophical or theological tangent and debate whether or not there is any impurity in the purest form of love… But here, I’m just talking about your regular Joe Blow and Susie Q falling in love and trying to make the pieces fit. In one way or another, a tender part of us is broken, and we’re looking for someone (or something) to help put those pieces together. While thinking about what some of my characters are going through, it made me think about these five dirty facts about love.
1. Love is Selfish.
I’m a person of faith, and I know that this sentence seems to contradict what many of us have been taught. Bear with me here. Let’s just say that it’s not Love that is selfish, but we, the people who love, are. When we’ve finally found someone who will put up with our crap and other idiosyncrasies, we’ll be a monkey’s uncle before we’re willing to let go if that person. Free love for all? You’re not going to find many romance novels with that happening. It’s all or nothing, baby.
2. Loving Someone Doesn’t Always Feel Good.
This is sad, but true. Just think of Heathcliff and Catherine. I honestly can’t recall a more miserable couple. Nevertheless, you can’t deny that love between them existed.
3. Not Everyone is Happy that You’ve Found Someone.
A fact that is one of the harder pills to swallow, but a fact none-the-less. People have a tendency to wait for the nasty turn at the end of the corner, the strange plot twist where everything falls to hell in a hand basket, even after you’ve found yourself rooting for them up until then. Are we all so jaded and cynical that we can’t believe in simple happy endings anymore?
4. Sometimes, When You’re Looking for Love, It Becomes An Asshole Playing Hide and Seek With Your Heart.
How many of us have been there, or know someone who’s been there? It doesn’t matter who you are, how famous you are or how much money you make – when you fall in love – I mean, REALLY fall in love with someone – you have been laid low. You can’t resist it, and you couldn’t change a thing if you tried. In many romantic stories, you’ll find that the billionaire is bewitched by the untrained Executive Assistant who just happened to land the coveted position through a temp agency. In real life, it’s more like the person who can’t stay away from someone who isn’t good for them, even if they are cognitively aware of that fact.
5. Loving Takes a Lot of Your Time and Energy
Let’s face it, when you’re spending hours a day thinking about someone, and then spending the rest of your time with that person, you’re devoting a lot of time to one person. This isn’t necessarily a bad thing, per se – but it sure is time consuming.
Love isn’t all that bad.
If these are the only dirty things that I can think of about love, then maybe it’s not so bad after all. Just remember that every love story has a beginning – and the end always remains unwritten.
Author, dreamer, mother, wife, sister, daughter, Believer, romantic, instructor, researcher, performer, friend, reader, underutilized philanthrope (my own fault - I'm working on it), discoverer, educator, Foodie, holistic, sentimental, human.